Feb 01 2009
The Super Bowl For Dummies
I will confess right at the start, I am not a football fan. But if you live in the United States, and you don’t want to be a social outcast on Monday morning, you will need to know a few facts about the 2009 Super Bowl.
What Time Does the Super Bowl Start? That all depends on where you live. I am in the Pacific time zone and things start rolling around 3pm. That means if you live on the east coast the Super Bowl starts at noon. If you live somewhere else you will need to figure it out for yourself. I like to go shopping during the Super Bowl so those of you on the East coast have it made. All the Super Bowl fans will be busy watching TV and you can have the mall to yourself during prime shopping time.
Who is Playing in the Super Bowl? The Pittsburgh Steelers will be playing the Arizona Cardinals in Tampa, Florida. The Steelers are the favorites to win. I don’t know why except that anything called a Steeler should have no trouble against a little red bird.
Why are Super Bowl Ads so Popular? I don’t know, because people are silly? It is a proven fact that people who don’t even like football will watch the Super Bowl just for the advertising. I am here to tell you that if you want to see the ads you do not have to waste all that time watching the game. You can see all the ads on the internet. Some of them are there even before the game starts. Also, Super Bowl ads are very expensive, so the advertisers are not going to use them just once! If you like to watch ads I am sure you will be sick of all the Super Bowl ads before March gets here.
How Long is the Super Bowl? Really, really long. It is supposed to be a 2 hour game. 4 - 15 minute quarters. But then they have breaks between quarters, and there is 30 minutes for the half time show, and then they keep stopping the clock for this and that. I have seen the last 2 minutes of the game take 30 minutes. It doesn’t make sense to me, but that is just the way it is.
What is the Half Time Show? At the local high school, the half time show is where the marching band goes out onto the field and performs. At the Super Bowl you never know what you will get. This year Bruce Springsteen will play some music. A few years ago Janet Jackson had a “wardrobe malfunction.” I am pretty sure that won’t happen with Bruce Springsteen.
Why Should I Watch The Super Bowl? Guys watch the Super Bowl because they like football. Gals watch the Super Bowl because of the tight ends. Seriously, who cares about that silly little ball going back and forth. Just watch those tight ends in those tight pants and you won’t get too bored.
Do I Have To Watch the Whole Super Bowl? No, you don’t. All you need to watch is the last quarter. Most of the exciting stuff that people will be talking about on Monday will happen in the last quarter. If something exciting happens before that, the producers will be sure to show lots of replays. If you pay careful attention to the last quarter, you can talk about the Super Bowl on Monday morning and no one will ever know that you didn’t watch the whole game.
Well, that’s all something I never knew. Good job. Now how about a critique of the Super Bowl? Just kidding.
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Thanks.
Marilynne